Love it
The world suddenly got some absurd meaning to it. And I feel that I'm alive.
Me taking action and change some things in my life seems to pay off. Positive feedback.
Just cut down on the craaazy factors.
Added some normality to my life.
But still high....
30.1.16
Getting high...
29.1.16
Rehab.
That's what I must do.
In order to heal.
Professional help.
I think everyone agrees with me here.
What a mess I have become.
Everybody can see that I'm out of control, it's embarrassing. It's really embarrassing.
Sorry for me, I do not know whats happend to me making me this way. Craaazy...
So I'm going to crawl my way back to normal...
Embarrassing...
Awareness
It feels like I did something wrong. Did I? Do somebody feel that I done them wrong? Have i stept on any toes?
I can only change what people make me aware about.
I will do better, be a better person. Make up for my mistakes. Try to make a better world.
Awareness is so important, we can't change things we do not know about. Please let me know what I should shange, what's irritating and what's my wrongings. I chose to try to be a better me.
So I start to day...
28.1.16
A fix
And everything is on track...
I'm not dying anymore.
My heart feels normal
Everything feels like it should.
At last peace.
Soon I will get out of the claws of this drug habit. I will get free. Cus this is a prison. Things go to hell when om sober... I will find the courage to do this, shange the things I can change.
23.1.16
19.1.16
I'm lost
In my way to catch my dream I kinda got lost.
Can somebody find me and say everything is OK?
Cus I don't feel ok. I feel stupid. Like I'm making to mutch noise ore made a mess? Did I?
Please let me so, escape from this insecurity.
I made a mess didn't I?
I hope not, I'm so eksostid. No the onlything I got is negative attention. Well I got what I wanted attention. So I can only blame my self. Well I got something to fix... Fix this mess.
I'm totally lost.
Jeg er en slange 🐍
WhiteBride
Lying
Is so funny when people actually think my marriage planning is forreal. Me just playing, maybe I'll call find another playground...
I'm sorry to my self being so radical and attention seeking. Because I'm kind a angry with my self.
Cus I'm not making it easier for my self.
Make people see
No he is not my fiance and I'm not marrying him. Maybe if I met him I would. But I just know him from the media. It looks like o got some readers out of it. And maybe a few more looking at this case.
18.1.16
17.1.16
Good night
Thanks for being there for me, without you people's I'm nothing but chaos and a hopeless mess.
So I love you guys
Always getting me set at the right place, ore ells I'm just making noise and trouble.
I know my self I think.
Gooood night hug
16.1.16
Hacking
Somebody hacked my blogger, tweeter, Facebook and Google + account when I was sleeping steeling my trade mark and give me away to marriage a most likely dangerous man. Something no one knows not give the man a chance. I studied him when I thought he was guilty, understand his psychological behavior behind this insane crime. But then I realized that this man can actually be innocent, no wonder I did not get anywhere with my study. So my conclusion is this :
He did not take part in this crime. And with he's innocence feelings got allowed to be felt. So it's not all untrue and a way to put pressure on the government and the people rejecting his case. But getting a one more looking his way and in his interest is more than yesterday using crazy methods getting there.
My family is vondering what the hell I'm doing. If I have lost my mind ore something.
He was suppose to scear me into silence. Well,it backfired didn't it?
Sorry abaot that.
I will get my self back on track safe.
Regret
Taking Norways most hated man and put a date on FB where I'm going to merry the guy. May be provoking, but his case need attention, is not right how he has been treated by justice. I make people look that way. Trigger the curiosity and they will see that he might go free innocent ore not. Lack of evidence is still lack of evidence. Then every good man is as guilty as we make this man. Innocent to proven guilty, I thought that was a law. And his case start to be a Paine in the butt. And I'm not helping.
I want the case reopen, a new trile and I will have the release papers yesterday and get what he deserve. A clean history.
I'm sorry for my thoughtless behavior, don't cnow what's trigger my episodes.
I think it's the jocke inside me and I'm getting hateful people try to destroy me. But that just a guess.
And I'm tired of these problems of mine. My radical and rebellious behavior. I'm so stupid sometimes. Wish I was smarter than this. So I'm going to do something abaot that.
Well I'm restarting, starting over and let go of the past.
Hope I didn't destroy to mutch this time, I will be hated. And I don't want that not for this.
So hello future, here I come.
15.1.16
Fucked
I will get my wedding flowers from the same place. The grave yard.
Satanic guest to the death world.
In Satan we trust to clean up the mess the good believers made. Satan is a bandage to the wound and makeheavy light, disrespect lnto the opposite and day into night.
Bad girl,I will do it better
I just taking things forgrunnen , without asking,
Greedy, one of the seven death sinnes.
I must be careful with my self setting life and love high. Worship it.
Can I take this? Please
I love shallenges, and fascinated by the old black smith's dark art of iron. It's really alternative and weird something else
A new world for me. Knowing my true self are more than good enough.
Well I will talk about it no more.
We are few here, the no uplithning and glow and spirit. They don't understand.
Truly sorry
Abaot shildabuse that heavy subject pedofile are.
If I can look between the fingers abaot some of the easy cases.
And people to see my apinion and angels at it, going out of the Place with a higher level of knowledge and stitches without pain you don't deserve.
To mutch judgment stroud filthy businesses, and look at the positive and helpful way, fixing it with four wheels. Fat car tiers and a knife.
Love sick
He is mine in my world.
I'm going to claim him,
And take him
Marry him 06.06.16
He is the best And no wired alarm on this one.
Newer met better human g
GEtting me where I should be.
Not lost in bad idiotic relationships and toxic friends.
He is my new toy,
Gonna play with him forever.
He has my heart, my body and smile.
One monster forgiven
No I have to forgive a monster close to me, getting use to him and fix he's dark past.
I'm crazy
And I'm going to fuck him
Just to cross off fucking insane in my list.
Is it possible?
To go through with this?
I feel
Do things (reason)
I don't want to do, just because I think it's important. Like posting this on my blog..
Cuz it's hurtful. Difficult tema this dark Sex thing like abuse not my place maybe.
But this blog is dark and many may need to put words into this. Feel ok, feel hole.
Maybe I can help?
There are many ways out of the abuse. To get the abuser away and a trusted twisted man into your life is one way.
To date an insane man was my way after my self harming abuse just to set me Inn to the Tema truthfully. But I don't know if that way helps, well I'm still in a dark role with this inmate in Orange sout.
Childabuse a dirty mind
Part2 enjoy your dirtymind.
Well a consequence of shildabuse may insome cases result in sexual fetishes offcorse the past was not negative so the opposite of anger. Love pops up, and why should the growend up humanibeing step on these feelings as wrong? People who never experienced it think abaot it all the time.
It's OK here. It's a place for everyone and everything.
To become a human after others insane behavior is not easy. But you not alone, it's more of us.
May this bloggpost find you and wash the shame away....
-The Place
My blog
Is it good enough?
There must be a place for darkness...
I crow I'm disturbed, crazy and my blog is me ups and downs..
I wonder if The Place is something somebody else will run.?
I got the domane pistra.com -the Place
Do I have to sell it? I not giving my darkness away.
Enjoy your Dirty mind
Dirty?Anything?
I'm thinking abaot Sex.
Can I do this..? Can I do that? Can I give my brain an OK to thing abaot this and get turned on?
But many feels insecure here, throwing and stepping on their own sensuality, and sexualety.
Don't, be your self.be confident,
Girls a secret:
Most men are born to be pigs to uppfille our needs.
Men know why so just relax and enjoy your dirty little mind.
Insanety
The ability to do things people would not do.
The brains answer to a already to complicated situation ore a reaction to a heavy past.
The struggle to live inside fighting against its true self. May look like a war outside where yourself try to destroy the spirit of it self. And that's insane.
This works up to its best to be your self no matter what
Insane ore not.
14.1.16
Getting high on coffee
And I'm board
Don't know what to do...
Want to party, but there is no partying in the middle of the week.
To morrow I will get money looking forward to that.
Have a nice day everyone.
13.1.16
Lazy
To day I'm lazy
So lazy I had to push forward the dato of one of my bills instead of go to the office to get them paid.
I just hope my email reach them in time.
I don't know what to do, lust listening to the radio doing nothing...
12.1.16
Nykter.no
Vell, I'm sober.
It's boring but I'm fine. Not sick ore anything. So I can't complain.
I do so much stupid things when I'm high. Fuck everybody, and I learned that not everyone vant me. I hoped it was so,that I was irresistible. But no,I'm not..
10.1.16
The Place
Popping up where you last ekspekt it to show up.
Wondering how irritable that must be...
It isn't funny and I'm not getting anywhere... With my love... Action i have to do something.
Send a lover letter to him, make him call me, if he's not a coward.
Well if he has Don what the roomer says he got not big, not small but insane balls so why not call me?
Somebody has to notify this pore man abaot his role in my pore life.
I'm not Satterfield before I have met him...
So I'm popping up everywhere.
Patentalcontroll.no
I think they are following my radical and rebellious activity on Facebook, cus they let me see posts but not publishing anything.
Frustrating.
Modell of insanity
Cocktail Girl
I love drugs
Specialy many at the same time
To day I'm on ups and downs at the same time.
And I want sex
Sex is so fucking good when you're high.
But it can kill you
That's the dark side of it
But death don't scear me anymore,
Death it's such a flirt sometime.
Well a bit scary is he, death.
Bonden/the farmer
Met a man and I think I'm going to fuck him. He is handsome and I bit older than me. I like him.